Day 44

44 is the smallest number which is the sum of a reversible pair of non-palindromic primes, 13 + 31.

Firstly, the blog is moving home to www.unclesomebody.com/blog so check it out! Blogger is doing my head in with it's lack of flexibility. Wordpress all the way!

I kind of felt like I needed a bit of a rest so I had 2 days off, but Friday I ended up doing 30min on the board to loosen up. I just don’t want to rest at the moment because I’m too psyched to be trying great blocs. The conditions looked really good for today, with chances of snow in the afternoon, prompting me to head out in the morning to Rempart. It’s a great crag, as I’m always banging on about, and there is enough there to keep me entertained, challenged, perplexed, and fulfilled for a good while.

Today’s challenge was Gourmandise, 8A+/B. I tried it last year with Danny Cattell, aka Longshlong, but we were having issues with the move to the lip. What a difference a year makes. Today I did that crux move 4^th go. It actually felt easy, just a matter of timing, and of flowing through the move correctly. It’s a long move whereby you have to reach out from an undercut but as you are reaching out you also reach over yourself to the lip. The photos don’t do it justice, but give some idea of the movement. Once I’d done this move I knew I could climb the problem. I climbed it from the lip to the end (missing the first 2 moves) and then started trying from the undercuts. There are two different starting points, which is why there is a slash grade. The lower start adds two hand movements and you get 8B, which is what I’m planning to do next time. Today I was trying to do the 8A+ version mainly because I realized I could do it, so wanted to get it done fast. I did have one go from the lower start and climbed into the 8A+ start without too much difficulty. The lower starting moves simply cause you to have less chalk on your tips for the crux, and mean you can’t adjust the holds as well as you like when you get there. I have to say that it was feeling easy today, perhaps because of conditions, perhaps because I was light, but mainly because I think I’m going well at the moment, physically and mentally. I think that I’ve fallen into the magic of font (as Marc Le Menestrel goes on about) and as a result I’m climbing much better. I’ve got a good feeling on the rock at the moment, both in the hands and the feet. I was getting so close but at the same time my skin was getting thinner and thinner. I reached a point where I should have stopped, but I was so close that getting it done would make up for the loss of skin. Unfortunately, after many goes getting closer and closer, I eventually fell one move from the end. No tick and no skin! EEK! I was pretty gutted, but it was because I wasn’t appreciating what I was doing. I was nearly climbing an 8A+, which I should have been psyched about, but I wasn’t. I was sacked because I had failed. Normally, getting so close on something so hard leaves me psyched, but not today. I had to really concentrate and give myself a good talking to in order to take the positive from the situation. Anyway, I’ll definitely do it next time I go up there, which will be next session. I think I will also start trying it from the 8B start because I’m sure that when I’m fresh I’ll find it no more difficult.

I think that in my head I’ve done something very dangerous. I’ve raised my expectations of myself to another level. I’ve gone from being very psyched by doing well on an 8A, to thinking I should be able to do 8A’s without too much hassle, and really I should be pushing much harder. It’s a dangerous thing to do because if you make a mistake you end up just being upset all the time that you are falling short of your expectations. That is where you should assess if your expectations are realistic. On the other hand it is a great motivator. I have been climbing alone a lot since being in font, and even before font. I don’t know why, but I guess I ended up being psyched and not wanting to slow down waiting for others. By raising the hypothetical bar in my head I am once again pushing myself harder, and I think I’m being realistic. I’ve always been my greatest critic, and also my greatest motivator. I have been so lucky to climb with beasts like James, Cattells, Simpson, and seeing them made me want it more. I came to font really hoping to be able to do an 8B before I leave. After today I am 100% sure that I will leave with one, but now that I have that in my head, an 8B is suddenly not enough. I want to climb more 8A+’s, more 8B’s, and perhaps try something harder. I hope this isn’t a case of sprinting before I can crawl, but time will tell. I also came here with a list as long as my arm of things to try, but I am now refining that list in my head. Tomorrow I will refine it on paper.

Aristotle said “He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god”. Today, whilst walking alone to the crag I was thinking about this quote, and I decided that with all the time I spend alone I have only one choice, to become a beast. Here’s to hoping.

Day 41

Forty-one is prime in so many ways! It is regularly prime, it is the 12th supersingular prime, a Sophie Germain prime and a Newman-Shanks-Williams prime. That is PRIME!

Lying isn't a good thing. Making bold statements about the future is a dangerous game that you should only play when you can accept the risks, which so often means accepting failure. Today, failure is something that I know nothing of. The only taste I have in my mouth is success (and Bolognese, Parmigiano, olive oil) because I managed to pinch my way up the (arguably) best line in the forest.

I was supposed to be doing uni work today, but it's Sara's last full day in font so I wanted to go out with her so she could climb. The first thing I saw this morning was a blue sky and I felt a cool wind blowing my face as I lay in bed. I did not want to be resting, but really felt like I needed it. We spent the morning doing small jobs that needed taking care of and in the afternoon Sara and I headed down to Buthiers. The weather had steadily declined as the day wore, but it was remaining dry. Sara warmed up, and was soon into the groove of things. She despatched a 6a slab without even thinking about it and moved on to a highball black 5+. Unfortunately a long move and weeping skin stopped play, but I'm sure she'll do it next time.

By 4:30pm Sara was finished, the weather was getting worse, but I was getting more psyched. I was feeling very shaky though, like I was down on calories or something. I felt like I had no energy and had been cold all day, despite it being 10C. The solution? A quick trip to buy some pastries and get some sweet sugar inside me. A pain aux raisin and some chocolate thing later I was on top of the world and was warming up. After a number of red/black problems I was feeling good but then it started spitting. I looked to the sky and just pleaded "please, give me 1 hour, it's all I need". It was obviously coincidence when the rain stopped, but I didn't wait any longer and rushed over to Partage. I gave it a quick brush, set up the camera, and had a go. First try was good, I felt much better on the second right hand hold. Feeling good on that means you can look at your feet more easily, which means more accurate placements, which ultimately means progress and eventually success. Another go or two and I could really feel that my skin wasn't great, but I knew I had some good goes left in me. Next go I got up to the slopey right hand hold with a hole in it. I fell stabbing my hand into the hole/crimp thing which only meant one thing... I could do this problem. All doubt was erased from my mind and I let myself accept the inevitable conclusion. Only one more go was needed and I was stood on top. I've not been shouting at the top of boulders recently, only quietly acknowledging success. However, once I had the jug at the top I screamed. I screamed not because I had simply found success, or because it's 8A+, or because it's famous. I screamed because I had climbed something totally outstanding. Perhaps this is the first thing I have climbed which I genuinely think is incredible. The movement is practically perfect (slightly harder and it would be perfect) with the most sublime combination of power, technique, and control. I think I've dreamed about doing Partage for many, many years, long before I had the ability to do it. Today was the realisation of that dream and I'm pretty happy about it.

Addiction is a dangerous thing. Climbing can easily be an addiction, where the highs are success and the lows are failures. As I said yesterday though, the line is so badly delineated that it's often confusing. Perhaps it's because in climbing there is only one judge, and that is yourself. Since I was 15 I had a piece of paper on my wall that said "I'm the athlete. I'm the competition. I'm the distinguished panel of judges". I think that sums up so much about me, my game, my life, and my climbing. The names and numbers are one thing, but the personal judgements are the real yardstick. I'm just hoping that I can continue to climb well, meet good conditions, and complete some more of my projects.

Bonne Grimpe.

Day 39 and 40

39 is the smallest number whose sum of digits is larger than that of its square.
40 is a boring number, but in English, forty is the only number whose constituent letters appear in alphabetical order.

Now I’ve been here as long as Jesus was in the wilderness. I don’t know much about what Jesus did, but I know that I feel I haven’t done very much. What’s most fascinating about keeping this blog is I can easily see the ratio of climbing days to non climbing days. At the moment I’ve climbed 18 days out of 40. That’s a low percentage in my opinion, but that is how I must suffer due to horrific skin. Everybody has their weak spots, everyone must pay the price by accepting the bad that accompanies the good, and for me it’s my skin. I’m not complaining, simply realising that I have this defect which can hinder me.

I didn’t get a chance to update this yesterday, which is very lazy of me, but Sara made a last minute decision to come down to font for a few days. To rectify this, I have pulled out a couple of stills from the video I've been shooting, so you can see the amazing things which I have the privilege to climb. However, no blogging has in this particular case not implied no climbing. Conditions were fairly good both yesterday and today. Temps were around 7-9˚C and there was a bit of wind to boot.

I was determined to make the most of conditions so decided to head to Karma in the morning. This bloc is so great but at the same time so frustrating. It all boils down to a blind slap, which translates to many, many goes getting the move incorrect. However, as posted previously, I watched Lebreton absolutely destroy Karma, so strength, technique, and font magic probably make it easier. I’m just trying to increase the levels of each... My first few goes were good, and I felt very strong. I was able to hold the nothing next to the crimp when I didn’t get it right. That gave me a lot of confidence because I figured that if I could hold on to nothing then when I did get the crimp I would probably finish the problem. My goes continued, strength/power decreased, and accuracy became a problem. I think that it’s too physical a problem to have a lot of goes. My left arm soon gave up, and I had a bit of pain in my elbow from over exertion. Essentially that one move is just asking your left elbow to lock off 1-5 static (but much wider) and hang there whilst you faff about. I was disheartened because I really would love to do Karma, be like Ben Moon, and get the hardest tick in the real thing. Perhaps such a feat is just awaiting perfect timing... who knows, but I do know that I’ll be going back to try again. I don’t care how many sessions I spend on it, I see them as great investment. Sara also made an impressive ascent of an unnamed white problem, 6A, in just 2 goes. If you have ever been to Cuisiniere you have probably walked past it as it’s just before Misericorde. It’s kind of high, with a kind of bad landing. Both these things only add to the intimidation of a boulder problem, and whilst Sara is learning to climb and improving constantly, I want her to assess these things with total rational. The only thing to look at is the boulder. Can you climb it? Yes. Don’t let the fall put you off. Simply remain a master of your climbing and the boulder will subdue. I had to do the same thing myself later in the afternoon, which was a good personal test!

After some lunch back at the ranch Sara and I had to go to Nemours for some car stuff. On the way back we stopped at Sablibum so I could check out Pierre, Feuille, Ciseaux, 7B+. It’s a very cool highball, which would probably be E7 7A if you wanted to use an outdated and archaic grading scale. There is a new high quality video on bleau, and the chap in it was smart enough to have tripled up pads. I wasn’t. I only had one layer, which was fine, and I didn’t hurt myself, but I certainly didn’t want to FALL off. After some pre-emptive goes I figured out what was necessary and got through the crux. I reached the jug from which it is a jug haul to the top, but the jugs were filled with sand, filth, moss, etc. I was trying to blow it off but I was getting pumped, getting sand in my eyes, and did not want to slip off. All of these excuses amounted to one thing, me backing off, reversing a few moves and then jumping off. I was happy because I knew it was in the bag, but wasn’t willing to press on into dirty, sandy ground. Sara said she’d ab off and clean the holds which will help. I’ll do it next time I’m down there, because it’s a stunning feature. You can see something of the line in this still from my footage;




The second photo shows my highpoint, which is a couple of moves beyond the first photo.


Today was another day that looked good on the meteofrance forecast. I had booked my car in the garage but wanted to get to Buthiers in the morning for a session on Partage, 8A+. At about 9:30 we were just getting ready to leave and the clouds starting crying. A combination of hail and rain forced a quick change of plan. We headed to the garage and after a bit of faffing about we left in a courtesy car. The French really know service, and our courtesy car was a 15-year-old Citreon AX with serious problems. A VERY loud knocking noise emanated from the engine, but we ignored it and pressed on, just happy to have transport. The weather had cleared up a bit so we headed to Buthiers so I could try Partage and Sara could continue her onslaught of 6th grade problems. We warmed up on some easy things, and after a sandy flash of La Rampe, 7A, (which I exited directly and not the the left!) I felt good to go. I walked over to Partage, got psyched up for my first foray onto such a wonderful problem, and proceeded to flash the thing. Not really. I fell off the first move, getting your right foot nice and high. I've waited a long time to try this problem, and for no good reason. It's incredible though, and perhaps I felt a bit intimidated by it's (non physical) stature. In the course of the next 30 minutes I had found the method, and I have to say that these are some of the best moves I’ve ever done, anywhere. It’s so excellent that I think I will stop recommending anything to anyone, bar Partage. Damn it’s GOOD! I actually did rather well on it, and thought I was going to do it in one session. I even said at one point “doing this in one session will be the greatest thing I have ever achieved in climbing”. What a shame it didn’t happen. I even climbed through the crux, which is a left hand move in the middle, and fell going for the big sloper with a hole in it for my right hand. I kept trying, but my skin was tiring, my body was weakening, and after a last ditch effort I had to give up. The high point was thus;



I am absolutely psyched out of my mind to do this problem, and without sounding too confident, I know I am going to crush it. It’s just so perfect, the moves, the line, the height. If I wasn’t already sitting down I would need to right now. I decided not to try anything else until I do this, so next climbing day will be at Buthiers. I am nearly certain I’ll do it with another few goes, but let time be the judge of that. Tomorrow brings rest, possibly rain, and definitely more uni work for me. I hope the next blog entry brings good news and not broken dreams. Danny, I do it for you.

Day 36

36 is the smallest number (besides 1) which is both square and triangular.

The weather always plays a part when making plans for rock climbing. Yesterday's forecast predicted alright weather for today, bar the blazing heat that would be descending upon us. Of course, everything is relative, and by blazing I mean the prediction was for 16°C. As it turns out, they were wrong (a rare occurrence for the boys at MeteoFrance). The car was reading 17.5°C as we drove away from the crag today...

Saturday is normally a busy day here at Maisonbleau because people are leaving in the AM and arriving in the PM. Once all the jobs here are taken care of Neil and I head out to the crag. Before I went to bed last night we were discussing a plan for today and I was in the mood for closing projects, not trying new things. With that in mind I declared my intent to slay La Coccinelle, 8A, at Buthiers. Why do I want to do this problem so much? Perhaps it's the Staminaband of Fontainebleau, by which I mean it's one of the most famous traverses, and so maybe it's a rite of passage in the traverse department. I'm not exactly known for my cosmic levels of Stamina, but La Coccinelle is a 2 move problem with some easy moves before and after, so it was a ripe challenge. Plus, Jerry does it in The Real Thing which is reason enough to want to do it!

Armed with the pressure of being like Jerry we headed to Buthiers. I plopped my pads beneath it, and did the end a couple of times to warm up, which also served as a reminder as to where the footholds are. I was beginning to feel warmed up when the first drops of impending doom fell from the sky. I wasn't quite warmed up enough to get involved with the crux move, but the prospect of rain forced my hand and I had a go from the start. Needless to say it wasn't very good, but perhaps my desperation to climb this bloc showed, and the rain held off for a few more minutes. I tried the crux move a couple more times, but it just felt hard, and then more drops of failure fell from the sky. Neil declared the last couple of slopers to be getting bad, but I didn't care as I knew I could hold on if I ever got there. In a moment of pure desperation I even reverted to trying the heelhook method (forgive me Jerry) but after 5 goes I sacked it off. I'm happy I gave up on that method for 2 reasons. It makes you feel close to the move when really you're not, and also because that's not how Jerry did it. If he didn't need a heel, then why do I? The rain had stopped, and I was busy brushing the holds with a bit of chalk, still determined to slay this dragon. I had some good goes where I got the pocket but only with the tips of two fingers, and I slipped straight out as soon as I tried to move off it. I really needed to get 3 fingers squeezed in to make use of the good bit of the hold, but it wasn't happening. I kept trying though... Persistence is a quality required in this game (as the great Doylo taught me). Eventually, with a smile on my face, I set off. Before I set off I remember saying to myself that if I was doing it easily it just wouldn't mean as much to me. The beauty and the joy is in the struggle itself. Failure is actually the path to true reward. With that in mind started. 2 moves later I was at the crux and not feeling particularly good or bad, but I managed to get 2 fingers in the pocket. However, I hadn't fallen off yet, my foot was still glued on, and a quick foot change enabled me to jump to the pinch (essentially the end!). By some miracle I stuck the pinch and my 2 fingers were still clinging to the lip of the pocket! Wow. I was actually surprised to still be on the rock. Just a plod to the end remained and I must have seemed a bit mental as I climbed along saying things like "don't fuck up now", "you're feeling good", etc to myself. Sure enough I got to the top and felt quite chuffed. I had to try hard to get it done, but the failure only added to the sweet taste of success. I knew I could climb it, from my very first go to the very last. It was a matter of persistence.

With it in the bag I was ready to head back home. I wasn't feeling in great shape, and conditions weren't exactly good, so I came home, and had a good stretch. My ass is feeling nearly pain free and a day of rest (uni work) tomorrow will mean I'm 100% for Monday.

Day 34

34 is the smallest number to be surrounded by numbers with the same number of divisors as it has.

The last few days have been spent driving to crags, putting on climbing shoes, and then watching as the heavens open and rain drenches the perfect sandstone blocs. There isn't much you can do with wet sandstone boulders so a step back is required, and I've been doing a couple of fingerboard sessions to try and make sure all this outdoor malarky isn't going to cause me to get burned off by Dobbin upon returning to the school.

Yesterday evening I was really feeling like I should be climbing as the conditions were excellent and Lorenzo was trying Sale Gosse, 7C, which I really want to do. Luckily I'd pre-empted myself and left my boots at home on purpose! I felt rather torn because I felt like I was wasting good conditions but at the same time I was determined to let my skin recover to a decent state. Lorenzo made good progress on Sale Gosse, reaching the last move after a few goes. Unfortunately the last move provided the crux, and he was stuck between an all out jump for the top or a tricky balancy move to the hold just below the top (as used by Catherine Miquel). Next time...

Today I woke up nervous about the weather, because I was missing climbing, but my first view of the world through bleary eyes revealed that things were allright. The magic piece of wood in the garden was dry (a sure sign that there is dry rock out there!) and the skies weren't full of grey clouds. I was psyched, rushed to get dressed, eat breakfast, drink tea, and then went out to get Lorenzo. The guy was asleep, probably dreaming about climbing. 20 minutes later he was in the car and we were off to Cuvier Rempart whilst listening to Breakthrough by Queen. BOOM! The rocks were dry, the sky was clouding over, but things were looking alright. I walked straight up to the big four area and remembered just how great they are, also thinking how Graham crushed them on his first day in font back in 2001. I harbour a deep desire to climb Big Golden and Atresie, two great benchmarks, and two serious challenges for me. I warmed up by doing some very easy things, then a Nameless 7B, then went over to try and flash Noir Desir, 7C. I hadn't tried it on purpose because I knew I could flash it, but was sick of waiting to try it. I just walked over, plopped the pad down, and sorted out a sequence. Whilst figuring it out I had my hand on the first hold and was reaching up with my other hand when all of a sudden my hand ripped, I lost my footing, came crashing down, missed the pad, and my left arse cheek landed on the corner of a sharp rock. I'm sat here 12 hours later having to sit on a cushion cause of the bruise on my left cheek. I could barely walk down from Rempart due the pain. But anyway, after this setback I was determined to flash it so I set off, only to grease off on the hold after the undercut. Damn it! I was a bit disappointed but I knew I could do it. Next go I fell on the move to the jug, DAMN IT! The last holds before the jug felt so greasy and as soon as I looked at my tips they were devoid of any trace of chalk. Oh well. I had one more go and my hands just slipped off so I gave up. The move up from the undercut went static, so I did feel strong, but strength isn't everything (am I serious?). I chalked up one last time and climbed it from the undercut to the top to make sure the move was easy and it was, when you aren't greasing off from lack of chalk. Anyway, It's a great problem and I'll include on the warm up circuit next time I'm up at Rempart.

Now that I was warmed up attention turned to Atresie, 8A. I thought I had a good chance of doing it as the previous session I felt really strong. Today was a different story altogether. I didn't once manage to get the kneescum in correctly, leaving my flailing and pulling way too hard on the undercut. One go this resulted in me ripping off the undercut, the first point of contact with the ground (not the pad!) was my ass which only added insult to injury. From this point on my ass was seriously debilitating. A few more goes and I was ready to quit. Conditions felt bad, I felt bad, and sometimes that just the way the cookie crumbles. I accepted my fate for the day and packed up. Lorenzo wanted to try Ouzo, 8A, so I walked down there with him to give him a spot (or rather, to watch, since it's quite low). Once down there I was sucked in to giving it a go. I'm too weak to say no sometimes, especially when I have the opportunity to try a problem with somebody rather than alone. It didn't take too long to figure out a sequence. I had seen pictures of Adam Wood (check the link) on it, but I ended up freestyling and using a rather different (read; simple but powerful) sequence. I managed it without heelhooks and without matching if that gives you any sort of clue. Sometimes I think I take school rules a bit too far (like outside the schoolroom). I had a number of goes getting closer and closer. Then a bit of tea and a piece of chocolate gave me the required psyche to latch the crux hold and I was on my way to the top. Success! I was a bit surprised to have done it, because it felt kind of hard, but also because I had stopped climbing for the day due to feeling like I was a sack of spuds. I was pleased anyway, and also pleased to have got it on film. Too often I forget to switch the camera on or never get it out because I'm unsure if I can do something. Doing Ouzo saved my day in a way. It turned a failure (not in a particularly bad sense) into a success. It's a fine line in climbing, between success and failure, but one so clearly marked that it's something painfully obvious. Truly, success is a personal battle and not entirely dependant on reaching the top of a piece of rock.

With a now very, very painful ass I hobbled back down to the car park. It was 6pm and I hadn't eaten since 9:30am apart from a Pain au chocolat. I got home bruised and starving, starving to the point where I did eat something but immediately felt sick, as if I was about to throw up. It took me a lot longer than usual to eat something due to this sick feeling. That pain eventually passed, but my ass is still killing me. I'm sat on a pile of cushions and it still hurts. It's never hurt this much before... Tomorrow is Lorenzo's last day so fingers crossed for good weather, pain free ass, and much crushing.

Day 31

31 is the third Mersenne prime! RAD!

Late lastnight Fontainebleau felt a small tremble when the Italian Stallion, Lorenzo, rolled into town. After a whirlwind tour of Britain he was ready for some sandstone action. His first nights decent sleep saw him awake and ready to crush, but the forecast was iffy. It had rained a little during the night but the wind had arrive in the morning to solve all our problems. We drove to Cuvier (surprise, surprise) cause Lore was psyched for La Balance and I thought that Rempart would be a sure fire bet for dry rock. We started the warm up circuit which now involves Coup de Bambou, 6C+. I love slab climbing, not more than I love overhanging subtle power problems, but I love them none the less. The weather didn't look too good, but before the boulders were actually soaked, we'd keep going! We moved over to Bicep Mou, 7B, I was psyched because I couldn't remember ever having tried it, and it's a real thing tick! I think I just want to tick everything in that film, which is sad but probably true. I had a couple of goes to figure out what to do, and then Lore came over to test himself against Jo Montchausse (he did the FA). Once I'd established where the finishing jug was I did it next go and even paid a little homage to Ben and Jerry (wait for the video). Lorenzo struggled with the first move citing lack of height, but I'd put it down to still being a bit tired from the travelling. Soon thereafter the rain began, first the persistent spitting and then the dreaded downpour. That settled that, and we headed home.

After a bite to eat the weather turned, the rain had stopped and wind was blowing like George Michael. Charged up we headed out to try L'Homme Fossile. I knew everything in the roof would be dry and the final move to the jug would be drying quickly, so I was hopeful. Upon arrival it was clear that it was climbable, and it was drying at a ridiculously fast rate. It didn't matter even if the final jug was wet since the moves at that point looked so easy. I pulled on to do the 7A+ to the left called Feel du Logis, but after doing the first move I felt something moving in my right hand. I let go and sure enough, the entire starting jug was peeling away. All the holds in this roof have been glued, which was completely necessary to preserve the holds, but the glue was become unbonded. It was bonded to the hold, but not to the roof. It was quite a large chunk of rock, so neither of us pulled on that hold again. We climbed it from the next move in, and did it in the original eliminate way which is really fun moves. Then on to the main meat. The crux move was obvious, and took a whole heap of power and a bit of thinking, but it was solved. The rest was steady, powerfulish undercut moves leading to the lip. I did all the moves quickly and was psyched to have a go when Lorenzo realised something rather alarming. Whilst brushing one of the holds he noticed a bit of movement... uh oh... And upon closer inspection, and a bit of pulling to test it out, we realised that a crucial hold in the middle of the roof was very loose. Not only that, but the crack along which this chunk of rock was planning to detach was about 45cm long. A few taps revealed just how hollow it was, and there was no doubt that if I pulled hard on this hold it would break, and being an undercut, it would break right into my face/chest. I didn't fancy a 40kg piece of rock landing on me so I quickly quit. The moves were so good though so I was doing the rest of it when we realised that all the holds, bar the first and the last were loose. They were all flexing like Daniel Smith! The death zone suddenly came over us, and we both stopped. They were getting worse and worse, with a potentially serious injury if one of them did break. It's a real shame because it's a cool problem, but I don't know how you'd solidify these holds, other than drilling a huge steak into them and affixing them deep into the rock. The bottom line is, don't climb there!

There was still daylight left, and we were psyched, so we drove to Buthiers. I wanted to finish of La Coccinelle, and Lore wanted to humble magic bus. La Coccinelle was completely dry, bar one finger on one hold. Unfortunately, it was a crucial finger on a crucial hold! Magic Bus was dry though, and after a bit of fannying about figuring out just how he wanted to crush it, Lore despatched in fine style.

It was a day of rain, wind, and power, but it goes to show that if you persevere a bit you can always find some good rock that will be dry. It's all about the knowledge, knowing where to go in what conditions and I think I am starting to learn these mysteries of the forest.

Day 29

29 is the smallest multi-digit prime whose product of digits of its cube is also a cube!

Just a short entry, because rainshowers were intermittent all day so only the smallest amount of climbing was done. We went over to have a look at L'Homme Fossile which is something I've wanted to see/try/do for ages! We got there and it's a fairly small little roof, with plenty of glue/cement, but it's still cool. There aren't many roofs like it in font, and probably not many sandstone roofs like it anywhere, since sandstone isn't the best material for crimps in a roof! Anyway, I hadn't taken my boots thinking it would be a bit wet, but it wasn't and so I trekked back to the car to get them. Unfortunately, upon arrival at the car it was already raining so we gave up and drove on to Recloses.

I'd seen a video recently of Olivier Lebreton doing Narcotic Direct, 8B, and it looked very cool. Since Recloses was on our way home it was worth a bash. Unfortunately there was nothing to warm up on, and the holds were slightly damp, but I had a quick bash and can sum it up as a 1 move problem. It's 3 biggish, powerfulish, but ultimately easy moves into a hard 1 move throw, then 1 tricky move, followed by a lunge to the finishing jug. I came close to the crux move, which is crazy. I'll try to get a photo when I go back. Watch the video to see what I mean. The intermediate crimp is sharp, but I think I can try it with tape on! My skin is just such a wuss, it can't take any level of sharpness without ripping.

More soon, I hope!

Day 26

26 is the only number between a square number and a cube number, which was first proved by Pierre de Fermat (genius mathematician!). 26 is also the maximum number of moves needed to solve a rubiks cube, which is neat. I used to be able to solve a rubiks cube in under 30 secs.

I always end up writing these blog entries late at night and usually with sore tips. Today is no exception as I have both sore tips and heavy eyelids. This morning I awoke to see grey skies and very light rain. It soon rolled in and the rain poured for a couple of hours, but there was still some hope as the wind was blowing and if it did stop raining we'd surely find dry rock. We headed to decathlon so I could buy a skipping rope which I'm planning on utilising every morning! Sara said I could lose some weight so I'm going to get on the case and get my heart rate up every morning pre breakfast. There's no point lugging excess weight up all these boulders so if I can lose a couple of kg then all the better. After purchasing the rope we grabbed some lunch and drove down to Cuvier. It had stopped raining at the strong winds meant that many blocs were dry already. In fact, I would hazard a guess that it hadn't rained that much at Cuvier since there was way too much chalk about... unless there is a man who waits until the second the rain stops and then heads out armed with plenty of chalk to whiten up every hold. It was only 2pm so I chilled and Sara climbed. She crushed more red problems and also did another 6A which is great for her confidence. I wonder when the day of 7A will arrive?

As the day wore on I decided to get my boots on and warm up. The plan was to warm up at Bas Cuvier, have a couple of tries on Apotheose then head up to Rempart. That plan went straight out the window within 10 mins. I have pretty much devised my warm up circuit now, which involves a red problem or two, then Carnage, Berezine, Carnazina, etc. I thought I'd have a quick go on the Carnage-Berezina Assis, 8A, link up as I hadn't done it and I'm aiming to tick the block, but that quick go turned into a siege. There was a crucial point where it changed from a quick go to a must do siege attempt. Conditions weren't great and so my skin wasn't lasting long. I had lost just a little too much skin on the Berezina-Carnage assis link up so that I knew my goes on Kheops would be wasted, but I had enough skin left to fight on through with this problem. I had no choice but to press on. Conditions on the crux hold on Berezina were atrocious, as normally I can get it every go and get to the top but I was getting it and just sliding off, which was killing my skin. I also changed my hand sequence slightly so that when I got to the start of Berezina I was holding the holds a little lower. It made the move up easier on it's own but wasn't helping on the link. After way too many goes I realised just what I was doing wrong. Something so subtle that I fear it's too difficult to explain. It had to do with the trajectory my hand and my body was taking throughout the move. Utilising the hand holds in method 1 would give my body and hand a certain trajectory, but method 2 gave it something different. I was using method 2 with trajectory 1. Not until I was really concentrating did I realise that this was the crucial mistake. Only a few goes later I was stood on top. I wished I'd realised earlier as I really have no skin left now on my right hand. I think I'll have to take 2 days off and get intimate with the climb on. I only have Apotheose to do and I'll have ticked that block which would be a pretty cool feat.

After that epic I was keen to get on something else, but light was fading fast and my skin was weeping the tears of a thousand virgin mary's. I saw someone on Coup de Feel, 7C/+, the other day and thought it looked amazing so we headed over there for a quick burn. Within a few goes I'd done the crux move, and was one move from the top jug but I let go due to lack of carrot vision to see the footholds, and a fear of slapping for a hold that I thought was very very bad. It turns out the hold is good and I should have slapped, but that's part of living and learning! I'll get it done next time I'm at Cuvier (which I still think is all too often at the moment!).

Tomorrow the forecast is for rain, which I'll welcome actually so I can let my skin recover. Also scheduled is the man to empty the septic tank, so let's hope that works out without a hitch!

Day 24

Day 24

24 is the smallest number with exactly 8 divisors and it is also a semiperfect number.

Another couple of days of rain/drizzle meant another couple of days of rest. Fortunately I spent the time finishing the climbing wall at Maisonbleau. The thing has just grown and grown like a cancer and it's at the final stage of evolution now. I did a few deadhangs yesterday and a tiny bit of climbing to loosen up for today (and to test the new section of wall). Luckily the wall held fast and I was able to head out today.

It seems like I'm spending way too much time at the Cuvier areas, and missing out on the more esoteric venues. I kind of feel like I'm the guy who just goes to Plantation and never anywhere else, except that Cuvier has more 5 star problems than I can count and Rempart happens to be quick drying so it's a win-win situation. Early afternoon was spent watching/spotting Sara faff about on Orange problems and then fail on a red problem that was so far beneath her. Things weren't going great, but I had a plan for her... We walked over to La Marie Rose, 6A, and she immediately started going on about how hard it was and how other good climbers she knew couldn't do it. After a pep talk about winners only think W-I-N (and there is most definitely an I in win) she started her attempts. Soon enough she had a good sequence but was struggling with a long reach right at the top. I knew that if she could only do that final reach she would have this problem wrapped up. After a few goes trying different beta we'd settled on the way and only a few goes afterwards she was stood on top! It highlighted that with the right beta, the right motivation, and the right approach people can climb things a little harder than they think. Sara and I knew she could climb 6A in font, but La Marie Rose is a super classic, the forest's first 6A climbed in 1946 by Rene Ferlet. That is a benchmark and no one will ever tell you that it's a soft touch. I'm really happy for her, and I think that attaining something like that is great motivation for Sara. People who think positively will always climb positively and will always get more done. I have no doubt about that (and neither should you).

After she had crushed we moved over to the Carnage area so I could get warmed up and I harboured desires to get all the problems I did previously on video. First up was Carnage, then Berezina, then I tried the Carnage-Berezina Combo Assis but fell off in Berezina cause the holds were a tiny bit greasy and I was a little bit pumped. I didn't want to waste skin so I quickly did the stand start so I had it on video and then I had 3 goes on Apotheose. Damn I want to do this problem! First go my fingers were less than 1cm from the hold. 1cm!!!! I suppose that is about the distance I am way from doing 1-5-9 as well... if only I'd trained harder. If only I could do 1-5-9 every go then I could crush Apotheose! The next 2 goes were horrific. It felt like the second hold had suddenly turned into Teflon and my hands were covered in oil. I gave up, we packed up, and legged it up to Rempart. I wanted to get on Kheops before the sun set. The first move (which I originally flashed) was feeling rather hard, mainly because my ring and pinky fingers were slightly thin and the right hand hold isn't very good (using the sloper not the crimp). I mainly wanted to try the next move anyway (the crux I think), and luckily I had brought Sara along for a small push. I had one more go from the start but my right hand ripped off rather violently drawing blood from 3 knuckles and flinging me down the hill. Thankfully Sara's slender yet powerful arms just about kept my head off the rocks. I then started trying the next move, which is a move that perplexes me greatly. It's hard to explain, and I don't really need to, but it's a move that requires intricate body position and exceptional balance (with the regulatory level of power too). I got into the right position, but my plumb line must have been slightly out as I couldn't reach up statically enough. I'll find the position though, and when I do, Kheops will be Keithops. My skin started getting really jaded and I fell off the right hand hold a couple more times. It was turning black and my skin wasn't playing nice so I gave up for the day. Luckily it's going to rain tomorrow (so say the weather Gods at Meteo France) so I can get some skin back and then head out Monday for more skin sapping action.

We watched a wonderful round orange sunset disappear behind the horizon and then headed home for a yummy dinner.

Day 21

Dry rock makes for dry smiles. I waited around until 3pm today hoping that the wind would keep blowing and drying all that wonderful sandstone. I drove out to Cuvier because I figured Rempart would be dry and there is so much quality up there that I couldn't go wrong. I arrived at the car park to find that Bas Cuvier was quite populated with climbers which meant dry rock! WOO HOO! I headed straight for the Carnage area and did some 6's to warm up, which included that 6C slab to the right of Cortomaltese. It took me about 6 goes but I was happy to get up it without pulling too hard... warming up the toes is nearly as important as warming the fingers up! I won't charge you for that secret knowledge... use it wisely. Then I moved over to Carnage where there were some people in-situ trying la berezina. I did Carnage and actually did it quite a fun eliminate way (does this make me a bleausard?). You get the crimp right hand, then up with left hand to the good hold but then instead of matching with your right hand on the sloper/crimp you just jump straight through to the boss. It's fun and serves as a good warm up. Then I did La Berezina after 3 goes, but with a twist. The first time I did it I used the toehook out right (where some heelhook) but this time I did without the shenanigans. I pulled on and just jumped up with the right hand then whilst hanging put my right foot on. It felt like a more powerful sequence and a bit cooler in my opinion. Worth noting that I did not jump off the ground! Maybe THEN I would be a real bleausard. I was pretty warmed up now, and decided to try Apotheose. Conditions weren't great, and things were feeling a little greasy but I was just so happy to be climbing on (near enough) dry rock that I forged ahead. Apotheose is hard in my opinion. Considering it's on the same block as a few other 7C+/8A problems it barely gets any ascents. A quick browse of bleau.info and 8a.nu will confirm this. I had 3 tries and on the third my left hand was only 1cm away from the hold. It might be failure, but I was so psyched to be that close. Anyway, I didn't want to waste any more skin so I prepared to leave. However, I was feeling alright and there was one problem I'd never tried on that block, Berezina-Carnage, 7C+ (soft) so I thought I'd have a burn. 1st go I failed on the very first move of Berezina, then 2nd go I was at the top. It's pretty cool climbing. I realise I've said that about all these problems but it's because it's true! I think that these problems are not just popular because they are in an area that has a 30 second walk in, or because they're at the most famous crag in font. I think it's because they are genuinely great problems. They're not aesthetically perfect, but they climb really well. Anyway, next time, Apotheose, and you'll be shocked when you see the video.

After this I walked up to Rempart to get on Kheops. Unfortunately the right hand hold on the stand up was just too greasy (or rather, I'm not good enough to do it with a black hold!) but I persevered and ended up doing the moves on the assis (bar the first) because those holds were drier. The moves are amazing, so f-ing excellent. I'm really psyched for Kheops because the move up the sloper with the right hand intrigues me so much. I want to do that move because I just can't imagine the balance point at the moment, but I want to find it. I'll go back as soon as I can and hopefully make some progress.

Since rain is forecast for tomorrow I figured I should get a load in today and went up to Atresie/Big Golden. I got on well with both of them, doing the cut loose move on Big Golden, and falling off going up with the right hand. I ripped off on my next go and rapped my knuckles quite hard so I didn't have another go. I guess, it was just that little bit of dampness that caused it. I then jumped on Atresie. I think I tried it once about 4/5 years ago, but I can't remember. Some Spaniards showed me their idea of a sequence, but when I pulled on it just flowed. I was reaching up for the right hand crimp when my slight kneescum slipped off but I was really happy with the progress. I'm absolutely sure I can do it. I had another couple of goes but I was starting to get tired and my body was sagging so I couldn't get the kneescum to work properly. Another one to go back to. I love Rempart. There are so many amazing, classic, and hard problems up there.

I really felt like I was climbing well today. I felt like my movement on the rock was good and my awareness of body positions was just flowing really well. I wish I knew why so I could make sure it happened every session. I felt like sequences were unfurling in front of me as I was climbing. It's hard to describe, but imagine a red carpet beneath your feet that is only ever 1 metre ahead of you whilst you run at top speed... kind of like that. It felt nice, really nice actually. The weather looks bad for tomorrow so perhaps it will be another day of studying/building/tea drinking with perhaps a short fingerboard session (if I get them mounted and up!). We've started work on Stage 3 of the climbing wall... It's huge! Pics to come once it's finished.

BOOST People!

Day 16, 17, 18

Bad weather makes for bad conditions, which makes for bad climbing, which makes for bad blogging. This is why I have been too lazy to update. I apologise that I have taken out my rage by denying you, the reader, these short, sweet, humourous, and well written updates in my life.

After spending a few days in Belgium, in order to service the trusty chariot, and to pick Sara up I returned to font thinking that after a few days of rest I would be like an enraged Bruce Banner. Unfortunately fate would have a different plan in store. The weather had been bad so things were looking a bit wet at most crags, so we opted to go to Cul de Chien and 91.1. I wasn't too fussed about trying something hard and wanted to make sure that Sara got some climbing done. I was impressed to find that 91.1 was almost completely dry and there were a whole heap of people there. I'd never climbed there before, because I'm elitist, and there is nothing hard up there but I was impressed by some of the lines. Sara and I got started doing some warm up problems and then we moved on to the red circuit. She crushed some slabs, showed great persistence on a particular arete, and then topped it off with an incredible ascent of Le Cure Dents, 6A. It's a highball wall/arete with a slopey topout and I was very glad when Sara finally rolled over the top. For a few seconds I actually thought she was going to roll off backwards! After she was finished we went down to l'autre toit and I was a bit disappointed to find the entire roof wet. A lot of the holds were dry enough to climb, but the roof was covered in a layer of moistness so the footholds were wet and soon enough the handholds were turning dark. I did all the moves on The Maxx, 7C+, and thought I'd be able to do it quickly but I guess the moistness of the holds only got worse and I had to give up. I think when I do go back and crush it into oblivion I might claim 8A because it's pretty hard (unless I find out that I was doing it incorrectly and there is an easier sequence). I'm not impartial to upgrading problems. Only dickheads downgrade and never upgrade. I don't wish to be a dickhead. We left with me feeling a bit pissed because I wanted to do the Maxx but I was too weak to do it in bad conditions. Cry me a river.

Saturday we went to Cuisiniere earlyish to find the car park totally empty! I even double checked it was Saturday because I couldn't believe we were the first people there at 10am. In all likelihood it was because most people had decided it would be too damp but I was eager and foolish. We got up there and things looked a rather wet shade of green but I figured a bit of chalk would dry the holds on Karma and I'd be alright. I warmed up on some red problems, then some 7's, but when I got to Karma I just had to BOOST! I felt weak, lackadaisical, and rather jaded. Eventually I felt a bit better and got my right hand to the crimp a couple of tries but it was just too damp to have a serious effort. We left with me feeling like a total failure and a complete under achiever. Sara assured me it wasn't so, but girls are all sugar aren't they.

Sunday we were determined to find dry rock! Rocher de la Reine/Petite Reine was the choice venue but upon arrival at Petite Reine I found that my luck was still running low. Papillon, 8A, had chalk on (from the previous day) but I soon realised it was deceptive. I could only do 1 move at a time, and then as soon as I'd let go/fall off/slide off/grease off my hands were green and the rock was black. It just wasn't happening and I gave up with a deep feeling of dissatisfaction. We trekked over to Rocher de la Reine and the place was busy with people, bathing in glorious sunshine, climbing on completely dry rock. On top of the crag there is a long ridge and from it there is such a nice vista (only spoiled by the sound of the motorway!) so I was happy to be basking in sunshine again. Sara got busy ticking problems and I went to seek out Makhnovtchina, 7C. It's a crazy roof feature but from the chalk that was there, and the description I was sure it started from the obvious place. How wrong I was. I climbed it from the obvious sit start, thinking it might be possible to start lower, but ridiculous because it would be too hard to keep your bum off the ground. Turns out I climbed a 7B called Voyage au Centre de la Terre, and the 7C did start somewhere deep in the recesses of the cave. The moves look cool but the ground is way too close for it to be great. At least I was finally climbing on dry rock! After this I went to find Sara and spotted her on some 6's. The day ended with a nice sunset, but a sad goodbye.

Today there was rain, and it shall be the same tomorrow. Hopefully I'll find dry rock again soon. I miss it deeply.

Day 12

After yesterday's early start to get James to the crag and back before 11am I was feeling super tired this morning. Tiredness was pressing me into the mattress but psyche was picking me up. Luckily, I think, psyche won out and I arose at 8am with the intent of going to Cuisinier to try Karma. Once we got there it was clear things were not as rosy as I'd hoped. It was certainly cold, but there was some mist in the air and normally that means an end to everything. The rock is just too porous and any moisture in the air translates to black holds which are very difficult to grip.

I began the warm up, trying various problems and was surprised to find that I couldn't do a particular 7B. I was doing the moves all right (as I'd hope), but as soon as I did more than 2 moves I would grease off straight away. I was a bit pissed because I'd gotten out of bed with the desire for crushing and it was looking unlikely. But, the ability to constantly evolve, adapt, and continue is what separates the great from the mediocre. As I once read in an ancient philosophy text written in ancient Sanskrit (but translated here for you folks) "he who shoots the AK into the crowd-sure, he gets glory, but he doesn't know who he slayed, and so he is unfulfilled. True glory is to cut a man at close range, in combat, with a blade". That sums up what I mean and that is what I did.

Some of the Flems were down from Belgium, so I was enticed into trying something with them. It is an easy looking, slightly overhanging wall, which looked like it would be an easyish flash. Am I getting too big for my boots? It's name is Rencard and it is graded 7C. You can see a video of how easy it should be on bleau.info. I got stuck in, soon realising I was getting nowhere. It's only 2 moves the way I did it (man moves) but I was failing miserably. After more power sapping goes it blessed me with some new beta. It was simply a matter of putting your fingers in the exact (to within 3mm) place. Once I found that I was doing the first move most goes. Then I had the second move to do, which also required a bit of unlocking. I soon found a way, and within a few more goes I latched the top. I did it in a very different style than the video on bleau, and it felt quite hard, but the moves were great. By this point conditions had improves as the sun had burned off most of the mist/fog but I was feeling jaded. Rencard required a strange form of narrow compression and afterwards I could feel it in the tops of my shoulders. I'll definitely be doing those rotator cuff stretches tonight. Unfortunately I was out of time at Cuisinier as I had to meet Kevin at Puiselet for another session on Welcome to Jamrock. I said goodbye to Karma and hit the road!

I got down to Puiselet to find everything brushed, ticked, and ready to be climbed (perfect timing I'd say). I wasn't feeling too strong but I really wanted to try Jamrock again so I got locked and loaded to have some burns. I found some new beta for the left leg which probably looked totally ridiculous because my legs were dropped, bent, and positioned in a ridiculous way, but it worked (pics next time!). I was managing to get to within 2-3cm of the next hold, which might not sound very impressive but my short arms were getting as close as the pterodactyl wingspan of Lopata. Unfortunately I couldn't muster up that last 2cm but progress is progress. As Kevin said "8B in the forest is not just 1 or 2 days of tries!", and he's right (for me anyway!). I didn't have too many goes before having to give up but I left feeling like it was possible to do the first easy move. God knows what will happen when I can actually do that move... I suppose I'll have to deal with the crux move, MAMMA MIA!

Sorry for the lack of multimedia, but my video camera battery died and Neil didn't bring the DSLR. Another day climbing tomorrow and then off to Belgium for 2 days.

Day 11

After the carnage that occured to my fingers trying La Coccinelle I was ready for 2 days of rest, but that plan changed when I was faced with incredibly good conditions. I couldn't pass up the opportunity so decided I should try something hard with slopers on it. Two things sprang to mind; Karma or Kheops. Both started with a K, so does my name, and K is the 11th letter of the alphabet, which is the same number as the day of this blog post. Surely this wasn't simply coincidence, and I was fated for something so incredible that no man would believe me (but that's what HD footage is for isn't it?). It turns out this was all a fantasy. I made a choice and went to Karma in the late afternoon. Warming up everything felt greasy which was a real surprise, but I kept on going. I did le Mur Cordier, 7A using a stupid and very difficult sequence, but I guess that only served to warm me up more thoroughly. However, much later, that mistake led me to cogitate about something kind of revealing.

I went over to Karma and there were a couple of French gentleman trying it. I manned up to have a go and first go wasn't a total disaster which was good. A couple more French gents came round the corner and joined the party. It was quite a group at one point, with about 15 people watching and only 2 or 3 trying. Anyway, among the newcomers was one Olivier Lebreton. After telling the other French guy how to do it, then brushing all the holds, I guess he couldn't hold back any longer. He put his shoes on, walked up to it, and C-R-U-S-H-E-D it. I was very impressed, not just that he did it 1st go, but how he climbed it. His body positions were totally different to everyone else. It actually taught me a lot about what I should be doing on it. I had some more goes and was doing better and better. It's hard to see the hold you have to bump to, so it's somewhat of a blind slap. However, I was feeling pretty good, and was actually able to hold on to nothing below the small dish/crimp/chip that you want. A few goes I got my hand on to the crimp/dish thing but didn't have it well enough to get my heel on. I was boosted on and tried the next move with the heel in. It only served to confirm that the bump move is by far the hardest for me. Karma is such a great problem and I can't wait to get on it again (monday morning!). I think there are a few problems that you have to do to become a font beast, and Karma is definitely one of them. Unfortunately, I think it isn't going to be the most difficult of the group... But I have time, psyche, and persistence on my side.

Walking down from Karma in the dark the moon was so bright that it was casting a strong shadow on the ground. It was quite special actually. I walked down with the moon on my back and the next time I go it will be with the sun rising on my face. Great days.

Day 9

A short report today because I spent the entire day in front of 1 small piece of rock desperately trying to get from the beginning to end. Some people say a change is as good as a rest so today I opted to do something I don't normally do, a traverse! Shocking I know, but La Coccinelle, 7C+/8A, is a famous traverse, opened by JP Bouvier in 1988, and a pretty obvious looking challenge. I thought I could probably flash it so felt like it would either be a 1 or 2 go affair. How wrong I was. It's basically 2 moves into a strange move that is probably 7B+ on it's own, then into a 6C traverse. Sounds easy, but it wasn't. I spent ages trying a bogus heelhook/toehook sequence which sapped a load of skin and then I reverted to my original (and more powerful) drop knee method. The crux involved a move into a pocket then doing a move off it. Once through that you're sorted. The slash grade is because there are 2 versions, of which the 8A is a higher exit which I was doing. It's just this one damn pocket move. I wrecked my skin slipping out the pocket, ended up bleeding from 3 fingers, but was still determined to do it. In the end my body shut down. I climbed it from the pocket to the end (so missing out the hard move into the pocket) 5 times in a row so I know it's easy. I just have to do the drop down move into the pocket on the link. Neil got some decent photos (I think he's moving into photography, he even brought a ladder to the crag!);



I think I'll go back and despatch it in a couple of days. Even though it's a traverse I'm still psyched for it. It must have pedigree if it made it into the best traverses in font supplementary page in the new 7+8 guide. The advantage of trying something like this is that I'm sure I'm increasing my technical knowledge of moving on the rock. More awareness of using my feet, more awareness of body positions, and ultimately these will help with my big projects. I feel like I'm doing a couple of weeks apprenticeship in the forest simply by avoiding hard things (nothing over 8A), but re-learning the rock. I just want to get intimate with it again...

Also worth pointing out is that I chose to spend valentines day hugging a rock rather than my girlfriend. Luckily I know Sara won't mind because she is amazing, but I still felt kind of dirty!

Day 7

One week down, another great day to report. I'm just loving every day at the moment. I wake up to blue skies and cruise to amazing crags to climb amazing problems. Today, Neil and I headed out to find Coup De Patte, 7C/+. I saw the video of it last night and decided I had to go out to get on it. I think Coup de Patte means "leg flick" or something like that, which makes sense when you watch the video! It looked like an outdoor (and mirrored) version of Pego at the school, so I thought it should be fairly steady. The walk in was a bit of an epic because the directions weren't rather vague, but when we did find it we were impressed. Unfortunately we couldn't find anything else so the warm up circuit was restricted to doing pull ups on the finishing holds. The blood was already pumping from the walk so it wasn't too bad, but far from ideal. It took 2 goes to figure out exactly where to grab and which part of the foothold to use, then another couple of goes to actually do it. I think it's definitely a great problem, and deserves more attention. That probably won't happen since it's rather isolated and a 15 minute walk in, which doesn't sound much for most folk, but here you have 5 star areas less than 1 minute from the car. I've got video footage, but I'll save that for a long video of the forest that I'm planning on compiling.

Also worth mentioning is that Coup de Patte is located deep within Boar Nation the likes of which my dear readers will probably be unfamiliar with. I must have seen 50 boar nests today, with plenty of fresh foraging, warm shits, and underground caverns where they no doubt train with military equipment. I had the fear at some points and so did Neil, but the only difference was that he had a hunting knife in hand. I predict that if he does ever see a boar with that in his hand he'll either drop it or stab himself. Perhaps on a rest day I shall go and sit in a tree to spy on Boars. You know what they say, keep your allies close, but your enemies closer.

Today's boulder problem highlighted something that I mentioned yesterday, the process of figuring out boulder problems. Sometimes it's easy to see what you do, and when this is the case the problems tends to be called basic. Then you have problems that are intensely complicated, with many footholds to choose from, and hand sequences that aren't obvious. These tend to be called technical. I love both styles, but I think there is a 3rd style which is something in between. Problems where the moves tend to be fairly basic, but positions of things like hips, shoulders, legs, all make a difference to the move, and change impossible to possible. I love subtle moves like this, where a few cm's difference in hip position make a move possible. I don't love going to a boulder problem and having to figure out which holds are in, which aren't, which footholds you use, which you don't. I would much rather be told the basics like it's these holds and that's all you've got to work with. From there I'm happy. I think people underestimate the subtleties associated with climbing hard problems on steep walls. I also think I like to test my climbing ability, not necessarily my ability to figure out which holds to use. Perhaps that's why I've never been into FA's and I prefer to see a video to get beta and then go out and CRUSH!

I think I'll have to rest for a day or maybe even two which is a bummer. I'm psyched to do so much, and I know that in the next two months I will. Until the next...

Day 6

If you have something amazing every day does it cease to remain amazing? It doesn't seem to be! Today I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was blue skies with the occasional vapour trail cutting across it. I was feeling rather tired for some reason but psyche is flowing through my veins at the moment so I threw together some porridge and headed out to Dame Jouanne with Neil. Olivier Lebreton did a new 7B+/C up there called XXX a couple of weeks ago so I thought it might be worth a look. I have great respect for him, since he has crushed nearly everything in the forest, but also done plenty of new lines. We got up there to find that the problem had no chalk on and looked rather sorry for itself. I was quite disappointed because I'd expected it to be rather good. We brushed it up, chalked all the holds, and suddenly it looked pretty cool. Neil had a few goes but the beta was eluding him. I tried and soon found that I was getting nowhere. I had found a sequence but it involved hideous moves and was in no way correct. I was getting a bit vexed because I simply wanted to climb the thing, not fag about trying to find the method (more on this later). I was just about ready to give up but saw what seemed like one more method. Within a couple of minutes I'd refined it and had a way planned to the top. It still felt hard and a million miles away from 7B+, but it was a cool way, and the only way I had been able to find. I had found a solution, but I don't think it resembled Olivier's. Anyway, I sat down and blasted to the top with power, grace, poise, guile, and general greatness. You can see it all for yourself in the pics and video;




video is at Vimeo.

ok, ok. I had none of those things, but I made it to the top. :)

We moved on to Puiselet le Paradis to try a newish problem called Welcome to Jamrock, 8B, with Kevin. It's not a typical font problem in many ways. Firstly, it's at the end of a LARGE crag which has got to be about 12m tall at it's highest.

The sandstone is completely horrific in some parts and falling apart in many places, including the starting footholds on welcome to jamrock. The rock above is alright though, and the moves are amazing. It's essentially a 2 move problem, the first being hard, and the second being harder. Unfortunately I can't vouch for that since I didn't even manage the first move! It's a huge move, as you can kind of see;




It's a really technical move too, involving huge amounts of strength, co-ordination, balance, everything really. I think I'd like to have another go on it, but perhaps after I've ticked some of my other goals.

By this point I was feeling rather shattered so Kevin and I went to look at some other projects and nearby problems. We went to Sablibum to see Demonia, 7C+, which is mega highball with the crux at the top. This photo doesn't really give an idea of scale, but that first spikey thing is at 2m. Word on the street is that the King of the Forest himself, Jacky Godoffe, flashed it on a top rope. Beast!



Also in the same area is a mega, mega, mega project. It's really incredible. In fact, just look at this picture (phone camera pic - sorry).



Once again the crux is at the top. I would guess it will be something around 7C+/8A but with a fall from 8/9m looming. It's atleast E9 or maybe E10. I'm going to get a rope on it and then I'll report back with numbers.

That was that. Another amazing day out in the forest, capped off with a fun drive on empty roads to the backdrop of a setting sun. Will it ever cease to be amazing?

Day 4

Yesterday I received an email from Kevin Lopata, font beast and all round nice guy. He wanted to know if I was in Font and I happened to have arrived for good only some days ago. That's fate, when yin and yang come together, in perfect harmony. Font beast, me, glorious blue skies, good temps, and bucket loads of ebbulience.

I met up with Kevin and we began the warm up circuit which consisted of the easy problems on the charcuterie block, la Picon-Biere, 7A, L'Araignee, 7A, and then on to Antithese, 7C+. Unfortunately Antithese got the best of my skin and I had to give up even though I was only a move from the end. Bigger beasts to slay. We moved on to La Balance and I walked round to find Ned stood beneath it. I demanded to know why he hadn't crushed it to which he replied that he was about to, and then he did! His flexibility allowed him to save his power and use technique which was nice to see. No wonder he is on Team GB. Unfortunately for him he had used the chipped pocket for the first jump, but then didn't bother using it for his feet! Clearly a man not motivated for grades, so I suggested he do it again using the two hand jump start, La Balance sans la prise taillée. I had one go but fell off matching the slopers. Kevin suggested I try a slightly different foothold which was only 1 inch from where I was putting my foot. It was slightly bettter, but a little more difficult to see. After I watched Ned crush it again without the start pocket for hands or feet, I had a go. The slight alteration in foot movement made all the difference and I used a whole lot of power, and not much technique to get to the top. Well, the top is the top, so I wasn't disappointed and I had done it just like Ben Moon in the real thing! YES! After doing it I was pretty sure it wasn't 8A, which detracts nothing from the problem, only that it's too soft to be 8A. 7C+ is an underrated grade anyway.

I was done with Bas Cuvier, mainly because my skin was already getting thin and I was only warming up. We went up to Cuvier Rempart and Team GB got stuck in with the Big Four whilst Kevin and I went to Kheops. He wanted to try the assis and I just wanted to try the stand. It is such a cool feature, a beautiful prow with just enough holds to make it attainable to those who want it enough. I did some of the moves and I figure it's definitely one I can do. Kevin struggled with the sit start because he was too tall! It's not often that lankiness becomes a major disadvantage, but it definitely was. I had more success with those moves than he did! Perhaps Kheops could be one of my real fontainebleau 8B ticks. I'll keep you updated.

I still feel a bit that I'm not concentrating my efforts specifically enough. The problem is that I also just want to go and climb amazing 7C's but each sessions spent doing 7C's is a session lost working on something hard. I've only been here a few days so it's no big deal at the moment, but I think I need to start thinking about zoning in. I don't want to leave here in 2 or 3 months without at least 1 hard thing. I'd feel like I let myself down.

Anyway, after Kheops we went to try a really cool project. It's not a really tall line, only about 8 foot tall, but it's a really nice feature on the rock. An overhanging crescent shaped prow, which involves narrow compression moves, followed by a huge move, and then a slap to the top. It's probably 8Bish, but worthy of some of my time. Kevin looked good on it though, and I think he could probably do it if he lived closer to font! If I go back to try it I'll update this with some pictures.

The day drew to an end with a forage to look at another project and then a beautiful orange sunset through the trees. Pretty splendid. I would post a photo but I didn't have my camera and I'd given my phone to someone else. Next time... I know you'd appreciate it Saatje. Tomorrow could be a rest day, it might not be. Such are the hard life decisions I am forced to take.

Day 2

Another glorious day in the forest, if a little warm. Spent the morning messing about trying to find some lost keys (which are still lost) but eventually hit the road and went to Franchard Cuisiniere with the team GB boys (Tom, Dan, Ned). I went for a bit of an adventure trying to find a new 8A called God Save my Finger, opened by Oliver Lebreton. I'd read that it was supposed to be great, and had high hopes, but after a bit of a slog due to bad directions, I found it and was a bit disappointed. At first I couldn't believe that could be it, but all the pieces fit the jigsaw. It looks like a hard move off a sharp little bit of quartz. I hate pulling on sharp holds at the best of times, but this thing really didn't inspire me. Perhaps the climbing is great and it will redeem itself, but I don't think I'll ever find out. Not whilst I have a ticklist that's a page long full of 5 star problems.

Neil was trying a dyno called la deferlante, 7A+, next to Haute Tension, and even though I was supposed to resting during the day I couldn't resist a go. I put on his old shoes which felt bigger than my trainers, and despatched it second go. I thought I was going to fall off actually when I hit the top, but somehow my body must have remained 1 degree short of ripping off. Lucky physics. Only last night I was thinking that I should try more dyno's because having that element of timing between hands and feet will obviously become useful in a more restrained sense on something hard one day. Perhaps that's why I decided to try it. Glad I didn't have too many goes as it was fairly sharp.

Ned and Tom were plugging away on Karma but not getting very far. Probably due to it being rather warm and also a bit hard. Dan was psyched for a go on Miséricorde, 7C+, and once they were done on Karma the assault began. It took a few goes to find the beta for the first couple of months, and then Dan fell quite high due to a rush of blood I guess. Anyway, next go he crushed it into oblivion, with a stylish swing on the final jug.



Tom made good progress getting about halfway but blew the move up to the high right crimp. Ned let himself down (along with myself). Fun time at Cuisiniere was over and we zoomed off to Les Mammouths.

Conditions were still a bit warm but cooling all the time, so we arrived at the UBIK block to try UBIK assis. Dan was psyched to try the stand so we warmed up with a quick ascent of the 7B at the back, Osiris. It turns out that it is actually very easy if you finish by going up and left from the high crimp, instead of matching it and moving rightwards. We all crushed it, apart from Ned (who let himself down again), and moved on to UBIK. I explained the 2 methods to Dan (who admitted to having checked it all out on bleau.info already!) and he had a few goes with the guppy method but fell slapping for the crimp. Then he had a few goes using the punch method and BOOM! He crushed it within a few goes. I was screaming beta out and he just kept hanging on, making it look rather casual! I wanted to make sure I could do all the moves on the sit start so I could try the link while I'm here. It turns out the assis moves are fairly easy bar the last, where your left hand is in the stand start undercut and you have to move your right hand to the slopey crimp dish (a lovely hold!). I climbed it from the sit to that point, but I was struggling to find a good foot sequence. It's definitely one that I could do, but I think it would take work because the start moves just tire you out that little bit. It's one I'll go back to try though, because 8B in the forest is like coming home to a sea of virgins, kilo's of cocaine, and r-kelly singing live.

Tomorrow will be a rest day I think, so until Day 4.

Day 1

Although I arrived a couple of days ago, today was the first day that the sky wasn't grey and the clouds releasing their goods. Woke up to a blue sky but rather warm conditions, which is good when you want blocs to dry. I spent the morning seeking out a couple of problems which were either new additions to the forest or simply close by. First was le toit du nanteau, 8A, which turned out to be a pile of manure. A lowball, contrived, and filthy little roof. It actually looks like the boar use this as a shelter when the going gets tough. Somewhat disappointed, but still psyched, I pushed on to see Papillon, 8A/+, at Petit Reine. I'd seen a photo in Grimpeur, and when I got there I was a little disappointed by its diminutive size, but it still looks very cool. Compression, slopers, and technical heels and probably the order of the day. One to go back and try when it dries out. It doesn't face the sun so it will take another day or two to dry out. There were another couple of excellent looking problems there, Skeleton, 7C, and Exponential, 7B+.

On the way back from Petit Rein I stopped by Reine Crete Nord to see Hotline, 7C, as I'd heard it was good. I wasn't disappointed. A proud and tall looking arete with a pretty decent flat landing. As soon as it dries out I'll be back to do it.

In the late afternoon I decided to head out for some climbing. The wind had been blowing all day so I thought that a lot of rock might be dry, but didn't want to chance it. I settled on Mont Pivot after a lot of deliberation (for some reason!) and was very keen to try Pancras assis. I arrived up there and everything was completely dry. It's a beautiful vista from up there, which only makes the climbing better. I warmed up by quickly doing the stand start (finishing right, which apparently is not the true way) and then flashed Belle Gueule assis, 7B, which is a wall with mono's! Not the usual font climbing, that's for sure. I quickly sussed out the moves on Pancras assis, but was shocked at the level of power I had to unleash. Luckily the locals who were about showed me the sequence. First go I fell right at the top because I couldn't get my right foot high enough to rock over. A really stupid and amateur mistake to make, which stemmed from the fact I hadn't thought through where I wanted my feet for the final couple of moves. The Frenchies showed me the crucial foothold and next go I was on top. The last rock over is a bit tricky and you could easily slip if you were tired, weak, fat, ugly, etc. I was happy to do it, as I'd wanted to do ever since seeing Julian Nadiras crushing it in some video. After that triumph I headed down to check out and try Kendo, 7C, a diminutive boulder consisting of only 4 moves. I really thought I could and should flash it, but made a botch of the sequence. I found the solution and with a great deal of strength, got myself to the top. It felt rather difficult for 7C and it's supposed to be soft. Perhaps the wet holds had something to do with it, or the sequence of power (Followed Juju's method). Anyway, I had it done and was feeling great.

I love the rock in Font so much. It is so nice to touch, so great to climb on, and as the sun set I was fully reminded how much I love climbing here. Hopefully if the weather continues it's good run I'll get on some hard problems and get them crushed too.

No sign of the boar's with berettas yet, but I know they can't be far away.